Hello dear reader, and welcome to another edition of my very non-erratic newsletter!âď¸
Awake and Asleep
One night, I woke up at 3 AM and couldnât go back to sleep, so I called a friend in a different time zone. However, she was at work, and instead of talking me to sleep, sent me this lullabiochemistry link - someone reading from a text book to lull you to sleep. Unfortunately, it was kind of interesting, which went against the whole purpose of being bored to sleep. So I put on this Moby Dick audiobook, which did the job wonderfully well - I didnât even make it to âCall me Ishmaelâ; I fell asleep in the foreword.
Thereâs something that I call the Awake/Asleep Window. Itâs a period, as the name suggests, which is some time just before you fully wake up. Youâre half-asleep, half-awake. And for me, it has been in this AAW that Iâve had great moments of clarity. Itâs sometimes an idea about a project that Iâm working on. Or a lightbulb moment about how to solve a problem. Sometimes it has been clarity about a relationship. Other times itâs an instruction - âcall this personâs motherâ; âcook a noodle soup todayâ; âmaybe you could be more understanding about xyzâs reactionâ. Sometimes itâs revelatory - âOh! I really dislike dill!â Over time Iâve been able to tune in better into this window.
I became aware of my AAW and started paying attention to it after I started writing Morning Pages regularly. Morning Pages is a practice that was introduced to me, like many good and bad things are, by my sister Aadya. I began doing it religiously about two years ago. A term coined by Julia Cameron [whose book The Artistâs Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity found me at the right time, and is transformative, but also is a bit ⌠new-age and cuckoo] , this is a creative habit described as follows:
Morning Pages are three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning. There is no wrong way to do Morning Pages â they are not high art. They are not even âwriting.â They are about anything and everything that crosses your mindâ and they are for your eyes only. Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand. Do not over-think Morning Pages: just put three pages of anything on the page...and then do three more pages tomorrow.
For those who struggle to write long hand, or are not interested in the effort of finding that much paper, thereâs a website called 750 words that employs the same principle. Buster Benson, who founded the website, has this to say about the practice and why itâs better than meditation:
The reason I think free writing is better than meditation, especially for those of us who constantly slip from the practice, is that it includes solid grips on slippery thoughts. The act of typing serves as a handrail on our thoughts, and occupies a certain part of the brain that generally gets restless and looks for something to do, because itâs already doing something: typing. Disabling that restless squirrel in your brain is the reason why activities like walking, showering, doing the dishes, gardening, etc are all such great activities for stirring up creative thoughts.
For me, itâs now a habit. Morning Pages is not something that I actively enjoy, rather, itâs something that I feel compelled to do. I canât quite articulate what the benefits are, but it feels like the equivalent of cleaning the washing machine filter. Or closing all the running apps on your phone. And something about the fact that I am less composed or less censored when I just wake up makes it easier to hear my inner voice.
Saubhagya Praapt Hua
At a screening recently, Anurag Minus Verma translated his signature opener of his video essays âAaj soubahgya praapt huaâ as something along the lines of âI am blessed by the universe for this random incidentâ. I am a big fan of his hilarious video essays with their deadpan voice overs, and of his superb podcast. I find his work fresh, true, educational, and really really funny.
I truly enjoy seeing the different ways in which people use social media. I recently discovered this Instagram page where the user posts quirky home interiors that she comes across on Facebook Marketplace. Itâs such a funny concept and although I live very far from New York, as someone who has an appreciation for both found things and weird furniture, I love seeing the posts.
A fun fact which I found from author Elizabeth Gilbertâs TED Talk about creativity [which is an interesting thought on how to view your creative self] -
At that screening, when asked why he creates, Anurag said something that stood out to me: he said itâs like ticking a box, or closing a chapter; the natural end to a thought. Thatâs an interesting analogy for the creative itch. Why do we do anything that we do? Itâs a question that I keep coming back to, and from him, I heard an answer thatâs good enough: we create because we just have to.
This is a video that I made, because I just had to:
Stillness and Maintenance
In the Sunday newspaper, some cartoon strips used to be printed in colour and some in black and white. And the black and white ones never stood a chance in comparison. They remind me of Zen gardens. Itâs an aesthetic I never really understood and therefore never particularly liked. Theyâve always looked a bit⌠bald, and kind of drab. But after a recent visit to a few Zen gardens, I found this moment of stillness beautiful and revelatory. And on reading more about the philosophy of Zen gardens, I learnt about the intention behind the drabness from Daniel Abdal-Hayy Mooreâs Zen Rock Gardening -
âEmptied of the usual garden elements such as plants and trees, Zen rock gardens serve as perfect backdrops to empty ourselves of our own frivolous clutter, our clung-to experiences and passionately-held views, to get down to the basics and see things in a new way⌠Zen rock gardens seem at once both remote and intimateâ âŚ. Sounds a bit like Morning Pages!
I particularly love this passage from the same book:
âThe Zen garden is like our lives, which we arrange and put into coherent patterns as best as we can, raking swirls in sand around our gritty protuberances of selfhood in the middle of eternityâs ocean waves. We continue raking and picking up leaves, accepting our own natures, satisfied that we - like grains of sand - may contain whole worldsâŚ. Perhaps you may notice with new eyes the sparkling branches outside your windows, the bending grasses, trees, rocks, even your own thoughts and the thoughts of others: a wider view. Everything is in its proper place, including youâ
Apart from the Zen gardens, something that struck me about most things Japanese is the act of maintenance - taking care of, and being able to maintain something over a long period of time. There seems to be as much focus on maintaining public structures and historical monuments, which are undergoing constant repair to preserve what already exists, as much as there is on building new things. It makes me think about the maintenance of the things we consider important.
Sharing below a quote from Jenny Odellâs How To Do Nothing: Resisting The Attention Economy which I have shared earlier, in one of the very early editions of this newsletter:
Things like inventions and the word âinnovationâ are tied to that ethos or obsession with something demonstratively new. At the same time, there are all these things like acts of maintenance, care, rest and sometimes even removing technology or having a simpler design, where that is exactly the right thing to do but because we have this very narrow version of productivity those acts appear going backwards somehow...
Not A Matter of âifâ, but a matter of âwhenâ
Trigger Warning: the following may be a bit on the tech-bro productivity side:
As helpful as atomic habits and all those things are, I think one thing Iâve noticed about habits - and Iâm talking about the habits that are long-term - you just have to be deeply and truly convinced about their benefit. Take exercise, for example. Iâve been consciously active since I was 14 years old. Of course, there have been periods - sometimes a few weeks, sometimes months, and sometimes years - when Iâve been out of shape. Other stuff needed more attention. But itâs always been something Iâve come back to. Iâve realised this also applies to maintaining friendships as an adult, to saving money, and more recently, to writing Morning Pages. If you do it for long enough, even if itâs off and on, coming back to it gets easier. I think with true habits, itâs not a matter of if you will return, but rather a matter of when. It becomes something that you just canât do without. Not to take away from research-backed methods of habit building, but in my inexperience, only the habits that Iâve truly and deeply believed the need for have, over a period of time, stuck on as habits. Hit reply to tell me about your thoughts on this. Does it apply to you?
To wind up, a small list of sleep-related things:
Listening to Max Richterâs Sleep [YouTube / Apple Music/ Spotify] to fall asleep.
I have a couple of friends who have very soothing voices who happen to love talking. I sometimes call them up and let their voices lull me into beautiful sleep. They have figure out what Iâm up to and are no longer party to this technique.
When I have nightmares, I keep a key under my pillow. Someone told my sister and me this as kids and itâs one of those beliefs that just stuck. Placebo or not, it works for me.
My friend has an uncle who told her to forget studying - the only way to do well on a test, he said with authority, was to put the text book under your pillow. She said that she did it for many years and it was the cause of several neck pains.
A friend had to let a sitcom - any sitcom - play in the background to be able to fall asleep.
My grandmother has a cloth put over the mirror which is in front of her bed before she sleeps. Itâs supposed to ward away some evil?
Do you have any sleep-related rituals, superstitions, or beliefs? Let me know; Iâm a collector.
Saubahgya praapt hua to write this newsletter. Iâm giving thanks to the universe for all the random incidents that make up our little lives, and wishing you restful sleep.
With lots of love, and hope that youâre having experiences that elicit the response of âOlĂŠ OlĂŠ OlĂŠâ,
Nitya
As always great reading. You have a head which thinks in so many different ways. So well read at a young age. Keep going
Nitya, your newsletters are so informative and entertaining. I tried morning pages but it was hard to fit in my schedule especially not being a morning person! While I am on sabbatical though, I am writing extensively. Please send your book lists that you canât get in India, weâll send it with Ashok.