Hello dear reader!
In the beginning of the year, when asked what my resolutions were, I decided I would commit to doing one meaningless task/activity each month. The rule to define these tasks was that it would have to add no value to my life, and just be an Arbitrary Stupid Goal (which I wrote about it a previous edition).
In January I slept on a mat on the floor every night. What did this teach me? Absolutely nothing, apart from the fact that I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, regardless of whether it’s the bed or the floor. Someone told me that sleeping on the floor is good for your back, and I worried a bit since I wanted for these tasks to offer no kind of improvement. Someone said that this was the most ridiculously privileged thing she had heard of. I agree and acknowledge that.
I memorised a new poem every week. At the end of that month I could recite To Fill A Gap, Hamesha Der Kar Deta Hun Mai , What If You Slept, and this lovely Pessoa poem to one wall in my bedroom. I have poor memory retention, so I forgot them soon after.
I brushed my teeth with my left hand. The right being my dominant side, this proved to be a challenging and highly unnecessary task, so it fit the bill perfectly. Some, like my class teacher when I was 9 years old, may say that using your non-dominant side is helpful in firing up something in your brain and making you smarter, but this is quite untrue, as my 9 year old self learnt. An aside: later on in the year I found out I had several cavities, which was a bummer, but probably not connected to the one month of left-hand brushing.
Inspired by Kikie Crevecoeur, I made a sketch for each day by taking one detail of my day, and drawing it in a specific format. This exercise gave me a glimpse into a month in my life, through minute, insignificant details.
When I watched a documentary by Natalie Johns about Sleep by Max Richter (Apple Music/Spotify/YouTube) - a beautiful concept; an eight hour studio album composed specifically as accompaniment to night sleep - I decided that I would fall asleep listening to the album every night. Don’t worry - it didn’t improve the quality of my sleep or alter my life or self in any way.
I ground coffee beans by hand. That’s the only one habit that’s stuck, because I found that I enjoy the process and something about that much labour for just a cup of coffee makes drinking it more enjoyable. I can’t say that I can tell the difference between hand-ground and any other kind, though. I just like the idea of it.
For a month, I took self-portraits on reflective surfaces - in mirrors, on taps, in fans, elevators, windows. Apart from providing me with an album full of 1:1 photographs of myself in reflective surfaces, I learnt and gained nothing from this.
I got a close friend to wake me up at 5:30 AM everyday for almost a month. It did not make me more productive, although it did give me a bit of a feeling of superiority to be able to say that I wake up at 5:30 AM, but nothing else. I ended up catching up on sleep later in the morning.
In my last newsletter, I wrote about learning that life is pretty nonsensical from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. I think these resolutions pretty much fit in with that theme.
The resolutions didn’t alter my life in anyway, though on somedays they did give me a sense of purpose. I skipped a few months just because I couldn’t come up with anything, and it didn’t really matter. I cannot pretend to have learnt anything from making these tasks a part of my routine. You may be wondering if this is performance art, or me being ironic.
I, too, am wondering the same thing.
The carrot is not important. Chasing it is.
Leaving you with this poem Song I came across, by the Czech poet Jaroslav Seifert.
We wave a handkerchief
On parting,
everyday something is ending,
something beautiful is ending.
The carrier pigeon beats the air,
returning;
with hope or without hope
we’re always returning.
Go dry your tears
and smile with eyes still smarting
everyday something is starting,
something beautiful is starting.
If you made any interesting resolutions for 2021 and would like to share, do reply to this email/tweet/Instagram me!
With love and hope that you’re embracing the meaningless as this year ends,
Nitya